Whether single, dating, just married or married for a while, the relationships in our life have one of the biggest impacts on our satisfaction and enjoyment of life.
We are designed with a yearning to be connected to others, not just through friendships, but in finding that one special person to share life with – a soul mate.
When God created Adam in His own image, God Himself said that it was not good for man to be alone and so He put Adam to sleep and formed Eve out of Adam’s own rib. In Gen 2:23 when Adam sees Eve for the first time he says, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” An incredible description of the closeness that God intended man and woman to feel when brought together.
No wonder we have such a deep drive towards finding a life partner – that desire was put there by God.
God knows all about living in a faithful relationship. For all eternity He has lived in perfect harmony as Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Since He is a Trinity and made us in His own image, it makes perfect sense that He made us to long for close relationship.
There is no doubt that the highs of falling in love and the beautiful moments of romance in life are some of the best moments that we experience. BUT, keeping a relationship healthy and strong, keeping the satisfaction and enjoyment – that can be a whole other story.
There is SO much to say on this topic but we can basically summarise most relationship problems into one issue – human beings are selfish. We want things our way and we don’t like it when we don’t get our way. That is pretty much at the root of every argument we ever have with our partner. We are good at making our reasons sound much more intelligent and emotionally important but the truth is – there is something we want that we are not getting and we are angry about it.
The reality is, it is impossible to have a great marriage and always have everything the way you want it. A great marriage will require both partners to be willing to put the other persons needs and wants first, Eph 5:25.. “a love marked by giving not getting”. The funny thing is, that even though it goes against all our intuition, it actually works. If you spend your life putting your partner first and loving and cherishing them as God’s gift in your world and they do the same back for you – you will both be given the opportunity to do what you want but in the best possible way. Not because you took it for yourself but because someone loves you enough to put your needs before their own. It creates an unbreakable love between 2 people.
Sounds good, doesn’t it? And yet, there is still the reality of working it out day by day. In spite of our best intentions we still have selfish moments or lose our temper. No married couple has a perfect relationship and any marriage that has lasted any reasonable length will have its own story of struggling and working hard to create a lasting and great relationship.
We have our story and some lessons that we’ve learnt through years of dating and then 13 years of marriage and we are really looking forward to talking with you on Wed 19 Oct. Bring your questions – we promise to answer honestly and openly.
Frazer and Tammy Rowe